cracker

plastered walls

i vow,
          to be ever so sweet, patiently waiting.

taken fall of last year.

it's hard to be home.

it's so hard to be home sometimes.

i feel two different pulls... inside me. 

always. but when i go from place to place...a pull get's stronger; thee other, weaker.

sometimes they change and engulf each other. twist about and switch to the background, the forefront... if one becomes too much, completely taking over the other, it makes too more pulls. a cycle...almost. that never really ends.

like waves. just crashing around everything that touches my life. i don't think i could control them. 

even if i wanted too, i don't know if i would. 

sure the feelings can be the lowest hell has to offer. but they've been the purest. simplest..complex, brightest, great, great feeling, ever.. stuff you can just breathe on. breathe in. be in. just has it all. but they wouldn't be one without the other. just like the pull wouldn't be one without the other. just like i wouldn't be me without you.

anyway, i thought, maybe if you ever found this, you'd want to know. and you'd want to know me some more. because i haven't changed a whole lot.  
i didn't want to grow without you. 
so you still know me. like you did. i haven't become something i'm not. and i haven't become something you don't know. i'm still what you know.
i thought, maybe if you ever found this, you'd want to know that one pull always seems to be you.

octagonal romanerio ed-niro golden house

somethin's cookin in the bathroom.

shooting an end of august wedding.

it stresses me out, weddings. i'm not sure if they're my niche.

i'm sure the bride/groom/family's wouldn't like to hear that.

i put in my 110 percent. but preference, not sure if wedding is the way to go.

actually i am sure, i'd only do it for my enjoyment, preferably not hired. 
just there. just on location.

then you can purchase any images you'd like. 

please stay, until i'm gone.

i'm going to make a picture book. 

i can't decide what it should have in it.

 this kinda thing...

or....

this kinda thing.

i just dunno.

i think thoughts that i know are bad.

make it go away.

one.

two.

three.

four.

....seven.

eight.

i tell the kids that it's all okay, 

but why don't you just make it go away.