Notes

Note 1: I have never been one for babies.
Basically, they scare the shit out of me.
I thought of them as annoying, un-cute, and just a hassle. Nothing I want to be near, or frankly, care about.
When you think these things, you tell yourself.. "Well, I'll like mine. Maybe my brothers' or sisters'." You say these things to not seem so horrible while thinking the previous.

Note 2: I love my job. The people I work with are more than people I work with. I trust them all. And they trust me. It feels good. I feel like I am apart of the team. And it feels good. The long, exhausting hours are rough on my sleep, sanity, and school, true. But not impossible. Leaving with the work done, 100+ percent in...It feels good. It makes me want to work more. (thank you dad).


The Point: Today, I held my first baby.
Let me just say, the trust from note 2 made me feel comfortable enough to accept the..peer pressure. Note 1 made me conscious of my facial expressions. But that little kid. I've never held a baby. I am the youngest. I never had to encounter this task. When they put him in my arms, I was all, "whoa. nope. nope. get it away. can't do this." The second thing I thought was, "Holy shit, he's warm." His mom, confirmed, yes, he's a toasty one. His fingers and toes were so long. He squirmed and winked. A big yawn. I just decided I would watch him and listen. I don't remember the rest of the conversation. (Other than me and the other photog thinking he's totally gonna be a photographer from the comment that he loves to just look at things.) So now I can say...I get it. To the moms out there, I get it now. But never call me to baby sit. I don't wanna sound cheesy, but holy shit was that little body alive. To think two people created that. Yikes.

The End:
I'll keep the memory in mind. Something to smile at. To wonder at. But, I'm still on the whole, "Whoa. baby, no thanks" path.

'nough said...........ceaf out