i believe that they don't exist in a city.
i believe they are on the prairie, near home. that they dwell in the quiet places of peace. where the soil is good and the wind howls. i believe that they are there for themselves and for us. all wrapped up in one. sometimes i get so lonely here. in this city. like i can't even breathe. i feel like i'm wasting. wasting time. wasting myself. i miss the prairie. i miss the wind there. i miss the smell and the colors. to me, there is nothing else i need to believe.
i am so terrified about wasting this time. i want to drop everything and go home. walk with my parents along the river. talk to my dad about spirits. about everything. i wish i was done with school and i wish i didn't have such a tie to the relationships i've made here sometimes. it's heartbreak. it's the worst heartache. i can't bare to leave them either, but i can't bare to stay away from my home.
how do people grow up?
i believe my dad when he talks of spirits.
i believe that they don't exist here in this city.
i believe they are waiting for me on the prairie, near home.
it's heartbreak.
