story time...

Where did the word "Fuck" come from?

I will tell you.....

Long time ago in England, a couple could not have a sex without a written permission from the king (Except if she/he was a member of the royal family). So if someone wanted to have babies, they will go to the king to ask for a written permission. The king then gave a kind of pass card that must be hung on the bedroom door when they had a sex. The card read “F.U.C.K.” (Fornification Under Consent of the King).

Wah-la. Enjoy the rest of your night kiddies. 

suit up boys

I'm not the one to complain of bad dreams

It's like disease, but without a life

It's all a scene with this great directive

That we're all lost and we're stuck in time

We feel alone in a strange blue ocean

And we're all scared as death to die

I'm not the one to admit it's helpless

I have a sense that we will be all right

I wish for peace with electric silence

To keep our hearts beating on our minds

And we will see that we're all connected

When we awake to the tunnel's light

The night gets better, but wait, so wonderful

They move together and dance so colorful

And kiss like flowers that breathe with pheromones
Songs get louder, it feels so natural

we're all scared, as death to die.

i wish i could write, and actually say what i want to say.

like none of you know me. or maybe just knew me.

i'd like to just say all the words that have been saved as drafts, over and over. 

it's so fucking tempting.

everything just wells up.

swells up, begging to get out.

yes it's true.

i never really was too fond of the day. today. valentine's day. my best friend's favorite holiday. she spirals out so much love; i can hardly believe it. 


my willow is gone. i spent every free moment at her house until i got to be a freshman. and even then. it was four nights a week or more. she spoiled me to death...  she taught me how to make the proper valentine. rhyme included.
when i was...oh small enough to make crafts... she brought out the construction paper, stamps, ribbons, glues, tape, scissors (very dull), and makers. she taught me how to do the window valentines, the folding valentines. how to draw a heart, how to cut out the perfect heart. as i got older, i learned of the things called hallmark cards. i did not like them. but i did like the fancy crown on the back. so i started to draw them on the back of my valentines day cards. my grandma, being the holy one she was, thought it was 'jesus's crown.' ever since we had made jokes about it being a hallmark vs. a jesus crown. anyway..she's not here to send a valentine to or for me to get one from her. my best valentine. so yes..today it's worse than all the others. my throat is very tight as i write this. i will share the last valentine she sent me. and it is the best one she ever had. 


it's a big red heart with a small white heart on top that opens... she delicately, with her arthritis stricken fingers, glued tiny red hearts over some of the white and drew some as well. 
it reads:


Claire, Claire
Maiden Fair
I'll be true-blue
If I can be "wis" U
Be My Valentine


Sweet Valentine 
For you, I pine
Won't you be
My Valentine?


Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Sugar is Sweet
And so are You!


Love from
Granny Willow


on the back is a drawing of "jesus's crown" it's a very good drawing and she was sure to get the last laugh by writing, "jesus's crown" underneath it. : ) oh gram..

prom!

MRHS.

Go to my facebook and comment on my status about prom if you want me to shoot youuuuu ;)

part two

toning assignment. i did some research.

but most of all, i did a lot.

A LOT 

of experimenting.

total time working:

from 2:00pm till 9:00pm.

feet hurt? yes, much.

ohh...and i still have to mat, 

organize my little speech.

and own.

:)

 putting in the toning bath.

 water bath.

 experimenting..

 toning bath.

 

home-made drying rack.

Playlist for this post:

Poison Kiss - The Last Goodnight

Fast Car - Tracy Chapman

Symphonies - Dan Black

part one

apartment is clean. colors pop in the kitchen.
new reds, dark purples, soft browns, and simple blues.
toning is in process. there's grave desire to prosper.
grave concern of self explosion.
a darkroom created in a small sink.
an old clothes hanger holds finished tones carefully.
the photographs drip, drip, swinging slightly from the breeze through the open window.
the drips from inside match the melting drips from outside.
pounding together with the jazz rap playing.

Playlist for this post:

Miss Me ft. Lil Wayne - Drake

Superstar ft. Matthew Santos - Lupe Fiasco

We'll Be Alright - Travie McCoy

it's from a movie.

"i still have the dream sometimes. you have this look in your eye that kills me. we don't say anything. when i wake up, i wake up happy...vibrating for a few seconds. content. 

then it goes away..

....and you go away..

i really don't want to get out of bed then. 

cause it's cold out there. 

but i do, 

i get up.

life goes on."

so much is said there, that i'm not gonna say anything else..